including a reading in your wedding ceremony (and making it more than a token role for a friend)

Browse any wedding group or forum and I am sure you will see somebody ask the question, “I have a friend who isn’t in the bridal party, what job can I give them so that they are included in the day?”, and inevitably the response will be to ask them to do a reading at the ceremony. But what should they read?

Cue googling “modern wedding readings” to try and find something for them to read which isn’t too long, isn’t too corny, isn’t religious AND resonates with you as a couple.

While I agree that asking a loved one to do a reading is a great way to have them as a really special part of your wedding, I think we can do a lot better with the content of the readings. I love to include readings where the words add to the story of the ceremony, and are something you actually want to remember being said in your wedding ceremony.

Below are some ideas for wedding ceremony readings that contribute to the story of the ceremony, instead of a generic reading

#1. Have your friend tell your couple story

In a personalised wedding ceremony, the celebrant will often share the story of the couple, and one option for involving a friend is to ask them to tell this story, instead of having the celebrant read it. This is one of the most personal parts of the ceremony, and having a friend (who was there to see the relationship grow!) read it can be really special.

This is a great option if you have a friend who is confident with public speaking and keen to be involved in the ceremony in a bigger way, since it can be a longer segment. Alternatively, you could ask two friends to read this, and they can take turns reading.

It can also be a nice option if you are unsure whether to have a friend conduct your whole wedding ceremony as a ‘co-pilot’ celebrant. With them reading your story, you get to bring them in for a key role without putting the pressure of the whole ceremony on them. (Read more about having a friend conduct your wedding ceremony on this blog post, and see my get married with friends packages here)

#2. Read advice or well wishes from your family and friends

I stay away from marriage advice in wedding ceremonies, but I make an exception when the words are from the loved ones of the couple. Taking the words of wisdom from people who know and love the couple provides great material for writing an original reading for the wedding ceremony, made extra special when it is read by a friend.

Depending on the couple and the relationships which are important to them, this can take many forms: perhaps it is advice from grandparents who have been married for 60 years, or maybe it is advice from friends who have been married recently, on what they have learned in their first years of marriage.

Not wanting to read out advice? Then hopes and well wishes also work really well also.

This is something that I love to include in my personalised wedding ceremonies in my get married with pip packages, which you can learn more about here.

#3. Ask a loved one to write a short passage as a reading

For my own wedding, one of my bridesmaids wrote and read a short piece, which was such a special part of the ceremony (you can read more about the personal touches I added to my own wedding ceremony here)

Perhaps you have a wordsmith friend who doesn’t love public speaking. Asking them to write a short piece which somebody else can read is a beautiful way to include two friends in your ceremony.

#4. Pick a passage from a book or movie that you love

Want something a little more simple than the other options? A shared favourite movie or book could be another great source of material for a reading. It doesn’t have to be a long piece, a few favourite lines of yours would be perfect.

Do we even need a reading in a wedding ceremony?

Of course not! A reading is something that is definitely optional and I would say that if you don’t have something that you really love and want to include, then give it a miss.

However, if you do have an idea for something to be shared, then I see two benefits of including a reading in your wedding ceremony:

FIrstly, it gives an opportunity to bring in another loved one to play a role in your ceremony.

Secondly, the moments of the reading give you and your partner a few moments to breathe! I will usually place a reading just after the couple story in the ceremony, but before the vows. This gives the couple a moment after the emotion of the entrance and the story to gather themselves while somebody else is the focus for a few moments, before we jump back on the emotional rollercoaster with the vows!

If you are interested in working with me to create a ceremony that is personalised to you at every point, please get in touch, I would love to hear from you.

Title Image: My wedding at the Royal Botanic Gardens in Melboune, captured by Duuet Photography