how do we choose a friend to marry us?

So, you know that you don't want some stranger (like me!) to be the one to tell your story and to be the one to pronounce you married! But who in your life can you ask?  

Read on, for the six questions to ask yourselves when choosing a friend or loved one to marry you as your co-pilot celebrant.

Want to know more about having a friend act as a co-pilot celebrant? Check out this blog post to read more

#1: Are they somebody who is close to you, and will be in your life for years to come?

This one is a no-brainer! Of course you are going to pick somebody who you love, who knows you both super well, and is going to be an important part of your married life for years to come!

You don’t want to look back in years to come and think, why did we ask them to be such an important part of our wedding day? 

#2. Are they giving you an enthusiastic ‘yes’! 

It should be someone who is thrilled to be asked, and would love to play this role in your wedding ceremony!  There is quite a bit of work involved for the co-pilot, so they need to know what they are saying yes to, be willing to take the role seriously,  and give you a big enthusiastic YES to playing this special role for you. 

Before you ask them, think about this something that they will enjoy doing? Will it add to their experience of your wedding day, or take away from it by making them stressed? Remember that first and foremost they are someone you love, and you want them to absolutely love your wedding day! So if this is something that is likely to bring them more stress than joy, then it's time to consider someone else. 

#3. Are they confident speaking in front of a group? 

You want to pick somebody who is comfortable in front of a group, not somebody who is going to be stressed or anxious in the lead up to the ceremony, and ruin the experience of the day for them! 

They don’t have to be the best public speaker or performer, they just have to be confident to play the role on the day!  It is OK if they are a little nervous - I think most people would be - but remember that they are speaking in front of a very friendly and warm audience.

#4. Are they a great story teller? 

Your co-pilot celebrant is going to be the one to write and tell the story of your relationship on the day, so you want somebody who is engaging, and who is going to bring you and your guests along for a journey through all of the emotions that come with a wedding ceremony.

If writing is not the co-pilot’s strong point, not a problem! That’s where all of the resources and support in get married with friends comes in. I can be as hands-on or hands-off as needed for writing support,

#5.  Do they know where 'the line' is? 

This will be different for everyone, but does the person you have chosen know you well enough to know 'the line' for what you would find acceptable or not in a wedding ceremony? 

An example of this - I once wrote a ceremony for a couple, and part of the story of their first kiss was that one of them had been throwing up just before (unbeknownst to the other!). Yes, it's a funny story, but there were other funny parts to the story too and I didn't think that particular detail really needed to be shared in their ceremony. It came up later in the Best Man's speech, which was a more appropriate place for that particular part of the story! 

Pick somebody who knows you both well enough to know what you would or would not be comfortable with, and who isn’t going to ‘go rogue’ and say something inappropriate on the day. 

#6. Are they reliable and organised?

It’s a boring one, but it is important that the person you choose is both reliable and organised! The last thing you need is the co-pilot messaging you the night before the wedding to double check the time they need to be there,  or forgetting to bring their copy of the script  -  they need to be all over it! 

I have built the timelines in ‘get married with friends’ in a way that means we get the ceremony written well before the wedding, giving your co-pilot plenty of time to rehearse and prepare, and I will also be checking in to make sure everything is on track. However, the person you choose does need to be someone you can trust to take the role seriously, and be ready

Got someone in mind who got six ‘yes’ answers to the above?

Then get in touch to discuss how you can have a friend marry you, with get married with friends.

Not sure if a co-pilot ceremony is right for you, but still want to have friends involved? Read my blog on my personal ceremony readings for some ideas of other ways to bring friends into your ceremony

Title Image: Joss & Elliot’s Wedding at The Ballarat Botanic Gardens, captured by Sharna Sellers